Friday, January 6, 2012

keep calm and carry on

I wrote a draft of a post a while ago (back at the beginning of November) and never posted it..... I have decided that I want to post the previous material as well as some current stuff.  The post is-- you guess it-- more mommy related stuff..... I am finding that this first time mom gig is incredibly consuming! 

previously written material:
I used to think that I could make everyone like me.  It crushed me when I would realize that someone didn't like me.  I also used to pretend like no one ever talked behind my back.  I allowed myself to be blissfully ignorant and it was great. 

I'm not sure what changed, but I have begun allowing myself to realize that not everyone is going to like me, that people will judge me, and that people are going to talk behind my back. 

I'm sure that one person will judge me for nursing my son for too many months and the next person will feel I didn't do it long enough.  One person will say I take being a mom too seriously and the next person will say I don't take it seriously enough.  I will not please everyone.  Friends, family and strangers will probably talk behind my back at some point.  Maybe not in a hurtful way but I'm sure they will have their opinions and won't agree with all of my decisions as a mother.  I'm working on getting more comfortable with that. 

Some people tell me to let him cry more at night and he will learn to sleep better.  Or that I should have started solids earlier.  Sometimes I get upset because I feel like they are judging me and don't think I am doing a good job as a mother.  But then, I get home from work and see my big {exclusively breastfed} healthy baby boy smile and he wiggles with excitement and throws his arms up to me and I know I am doing a good job.

new material:
On Wednesday evening I experienced my first audible criticism from a stranger about my parenting. The story goes like this...... Josh, Jack and I went to Bonefish for dinner so I could get my bang bang shrimp fix.  It was a very cold night (probably about 25 degrees out) and I had Jack in a long sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt and a little fleece jacket.  He also had on socks, sweatpants and a blanket wrapped around his bottom half.  We were walking to the front of the restaurant where the plan was for Josh to pull the car up while Jack and I waited inside where it was warm.  On our walk to the door an older lady looked at me and Jack disapprovingly and said to her friend "they should have gloves on that child." 

BOOM.  Did you just fall out of your seats from that doozy?  No? Ok, ok.  So it wasn't the most horrific thing someone could have said about my parenting but it really got to me.  I'm sure she promptly forgot about my son and his (assumingly frozen) little fingers but here I am writing about it and venting to anyone who will listen.  I need to take the advice above.... keep calm and carry on.  I knew that we didn't have far to walk in the cold.  I knew that his fingers were not going to freeze and break off.  I need to move on.  I know that that won't be the last time I hear someone comment on my parenting.  So the next time I hear someone comment on how I am raising/clothing/diapering/feeding my kid I need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am doing the best job I possibly can... which I think is pretty good.

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